Uganda Trip - My Journal Entries

Found these notes in my carry-on bag ;-)

From Abby...

From Mackenzie...

Monday, November 29, 2010 (Written on the plane headed to Amsterdam) -

Wow! I can't actually believe I'm going to Uganda! I always thought it would be "neat" to go, but I never thought I'd actually find myself on a plane heading to Africa! I know this is going to be an amazing, life-changing experience for me but the road to get here has been so hard and long, yet short.

Just two months ago, I was at dinner with friends when I received a text from my pastor that read, "How would you like to go to Uganda on our next trip in November?" I just about freaked out! Like I said, I always "thought" it would be neat to go but never really thought I actually would go.

The time is finally here and I don't really feel mentally or spiritually prepared. To be honest, I've spent so much time thinking about the "what ifs" and the thought of missing my family, that I haven't spent the time that I should have praying and preparing spiritually for the trip.

This has ended up being one of the hardest decisions I've ever committed to in my life. In a way, I feel like God is testing me to see who I put first - Him or my family. I knew I had to be obedient to God's calling but it wasn't an easy decision. I love God with all my heart but my family is my life. I love them so much it hurts. It hurts to be away from them. It hurts to not be there to meet their needs. It hurts to miss out on their every day lives. But God's calling is greater. I must follow Him even when it hurts. His ways are always best. This experience has forced me to rely on God because I am weak on my own. I can do nothing without His strength.

I just checked the airline's map and we are over the Atlantic Ocean! Such a surreal feeling! Even though we are experiencing turbulence, the guy next to me has major "gas issues", the person in front of me has his seat back squishing me and the guy behind me is snoring, I'm right where God wants me - right where I should be. Totally vulnerable - relying totally on God. I have nowhere else to go. Just me, God, my iPod, and my journal. And oh yes, the guy next to me who needs to down a bottle of
Tums ;-)

I'm in my happy place, looking at a card Abby made for me. It's a picture of us holding hands and it reads, "I love you so so much. You are one of a 'cind'." Oh, I pray the girls are doing okay. I miss them so much already. They have been so sweet supporting me in my decision to go to Uganda. They've spent countless hours crocheting and making craft items to sell and help me raise money for my trip. They are so precious and have such big hearts for being such little girls.

And Steve - he's been my rock and supporter this entire time. He's prayed for me, made numerous trips to the store buying things for my trip, helped me pack, made schedules for the girls, put up with me when I've been a weepy sap, etc. He's been amazing. I could never thank him enough for all he's done for me. I'm so underserving of this love from anybody but I am also so grateful for it. God has blessed me for reasons I don't know. I let Him down so many times, yet He still shows me love.

Thank you, Jesus, for your kindness and grace. Please help me grow in that area towards others. Please be with my family while I'm gone. Let them know I love them unconditionally. Please watch over them and protect them from all harm. I pray this experience makes us a closer knit family and that it draws us closer to You. Thank you for all your many blessings and for this experience of a lifetime. I pray that I bring You glory and help you accomplish Your will. In Jesus' name.

I keep listening to this song over and over on my iPod. I thought it was an appropriate "theme" for this trip...

"Imagine This"
By Beckah Shae

Imagine this,

Joy and laughter and no more pain

Where love insists to be known

Imagine all the people

Caring for each other

Instead of all the fussing and arguing

I'm a dreamer a believer

There's hope within our reach

I'm gonna take a stand and agree

The healing begins with me

There's a better way, we don't have to die anymore

Open up your eyes and see the need

We can make a difference with our own lives

If we let love arise from the inside

Heed the call and be all we were made to be

Imagine this,

Safety and shelter from the storm

A place for all to call home

Imagine all the people

Learning that which matters most

Can't be bought or earned or taken.

Imagine if we were all rich

Imagine if we all knew peace

Imagine if we all gave love

The way that God gave love

We'd have so much more than enough